Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can text with my tongue
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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