currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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