I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
