I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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