i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize