Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
