sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
