all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
