I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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