I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
