I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
COCAINE IS GR8
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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