All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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