Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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