Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
