I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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