In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
