i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
