he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
