I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
