You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your cock deserves a montage
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize