Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
