afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
