Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
