i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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