So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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