this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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