The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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