A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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