I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
two words: eviction party
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
