I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
