I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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