If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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