Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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