Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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