All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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