You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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