I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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