Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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