Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
