What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
