can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
