At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
