Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize