The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize