i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
