is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
