It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
