Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
