Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
