Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
