I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
