I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize