when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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