fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
