Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
