Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
