I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
