okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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