I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
