Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
