that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
