Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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