So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Randomize
